I know I’m not the only one, I meet others like me; others who would like to be like me and those, who like me, sometimes wish they were nothing like me at all.
I knew from an early age that I was not going to follow the worn down trail and lead a life that was safe with all its secure trimmings. I didn’t know it back then, I just thought I was a rebellious youth who didn’t fit in, yet with age I can look back and see it was more purposeful than that. As much as I use all my courage to embrace the unknown and as much as I embrace the rebel that is intrinsically me, I can sometimes feel drained, in fact completely exhausted. I’m wearied by knowing too much if that’s even a thing.
Without a doubt in my heart we were not born to work in a predetermined, dysfunctional system, we were not born with these special gifts of ours, for those that have the courage to use them; to work in an office, morning to night 5-6 days a week to keep a wheel turning so we can feel good about ourselves by the things that we have around us. Our sense of self-worth coming directly from the external world of which we have created in a desperate need for acceptance. How I ask, is this in the greater good of humankind and our greater spiritual progress in this lifetime? I feel people, I know when someone is unhappy, insecure, living with a mask on or is not being authentic. Perhaps my greatest challenge for most of my life is now my greatest gift…I am, from what I keep getting told, an empath. I’ve a desire to take people out of the system and give them wings, tools and clear ways to do what they were born to do or at least more authentically them. I’ve an overwhelming desire to see people flourish living a life as close to their authentic selves as can be.
And here’s where this unorthodox lifestyle can wear you down. We’re the rebels, the system disruptors, artists, entrepreneurs and misfits creating new paths and leading the way for others in this world. We tear down restrictive beliefs by sheer determination, curiosity and on many occasions simply by making mistakes, lots and lots of beautiful mistakes. We lust for answers, to understand how the mind works and how we can use our gifts for the greater good. Yet have you ever thought that it might be a hell of a lot easier to know less, to not recognise that we are infinite possibility and the only thing holding us back is…well ourselves? Would that make life sometimes easier, if we were blissfully unaware that there’s so much more? Are there times where you wonder if knowing less would actually give you more simple pleasure and allow that curious mind to just chill the hell out and remain present? If you went to work in a blissfully unaware state, left after an honest days graft, stopped on by the local tavern for a beer with Mike who had a bloody good graft today too and then home to blissfully forgot what just happened because you’re present and you know 100% what tomorrow looks like too.
Maybe it’s the end of the year, maybe I’m feeling bruised and battered yet truly grateful that being worn down has been moulding me into a man that I’m proud of. In some ways the more vulnerable we become comfortable with the less we need to wear a mask. I can openly tell you that I love what a sensitive and beautiful soul that I am with many truly wonderful gifts. But good lord It’s sometimes exhausting; perhaps that is just me though…but I doubt it.
I’m sharing these thoughts as I wonder how many of us have these feelings, where we feel like we might want to give up. But we won’t will we, for if it’s to be, if the world’s going to change due to our influence, no matter how big or small, then it’s up to us.